srehn's blog

This is the first in a hopefully rather long series of posts on memes that some religions have in common.

One of the most common memes among religions is the unreasonable bribe.  By this I mean that if you do everything right, something good and otherwise impossible will happen.  It's the "million dollars" part of kissing Hank's ass.

Here are some examples:

Heaven:  In mainstream Christianity and Islam, going to heaven after you die for the rest of eternity is the classic bribe.  (Whether any place could feel like paradise for eternity is usually not addressed.)  Buddhism and Hinduism add the twist that while various heavens exists, you still live and die there and will eventually use up your good karma, so it's not eternal.  This brings up...

Reincarnation: The belief that after you die, you'll live again in another body seems pretty unlikely to most of the uninitiated on the face of it.  While being reincarnated isn't always a bribe (you could end up in a worse body or on a lower plane than you started if your karma sucks), living your life in the "correct" way is the way to get the good karma which will result in a better life next reincarnation.

Super Powers: Always less coy than other religions, Scientology literally offers super powers if only they can get enough money...  Mormon temple garments are supposed (by some) to offer unusual protections.

Nirvana: While ceasing to exist might seem like the most reasonable thing to expect after one dies to a secularist or most Westerners, it's viewed as an incredibly difficult accomplishment requiring a lifetime (or more than one) by most Buddhists.

Family: While many versions of heaven allow the deceased to be reunited with dead family members, the Mormons get more mileage out of this bribe than most religious groups thanks to their focus on family ties.

Your own planet: It's been reported (though the LDS church officially denies it) that an inner Mormon teaching is that after you die, if you've been one of the very best people, you could become a god or goddess of your own planet.  Seriously.

It should be noted that, regardless of what level of importance a particular religion places on belief, an essential requirement for any of these bribes is that you believe the bribe is possible.  After all, if you don't believe it could possibly happen, why would you bother kissing Hank's ass (or whatever)?